|
March 18th, 2008
08:31 pm
Still alive. If anyone saw my last post, the one that is no more because I deleted: He said it was just a joke but other issues came to light. We are working on those issues and things are going well.
Still looking for a job. Money is getting tight and the more it does the sicker to my stomach gets. Guess I am going to have to grin and bare it and get another retail job.
Going to in-laws campground this weekend for Easter and I can't wait. They bought my son a cute Easter Sunday outfit. The black vest has little tool on it. It is so adorable and I cant wait to see him in it and get tons of pictures.
|
March 9th, 2008
08:49 pm - That's Not Blood
That's mommy's lipstick
|
March 8th, 2008
08:48 pm - Flowers
from my Husband.
|
February 28th, 2008
February 16th, 2008
08:57 pm - No Go
The photography job: they had called me but said they found people with more experience, I think it was just there nice way of saying the interview was crap. I need to stop letting my nerves visibly get me. I won't let this get me down!
|
February 12th, 2008
09:12 am - Catch Up
Going to play catchup since I haven't posted in a week.
Steven and I are trying to save up for an Alaskan cruise. We want to save $6000 by the beginning of next May. I don't know how we are going to do it but I am determined. The trip itself isn't that expensive but the excursions I want to do are. One of them will cost us a little under $900 but it is a once in a lifetime chance. It consists of a helicopter ride over the mountains and glaciers of Alaska than a dogsled much ride
Finally had a job interview with the school photography company. It went ok (I have had worse and I have had better interviews). I was visibly nervous but not to an extreme amount. My mother who was waiting in the car with my son while I was having the interview said, to my horror, that I had a big black smudge on my forehead. I didn't want to look in the mirror at all, afraid to so I just wiped it off without looking. Anyway she said they would be calling Wednesday, either way, about a second interview. Before the interview we all went to the Raptor Center to see injured birds.
( birds of the raptor center )
|
February 6th, 2008
08:13 am
I have so badly fallen off the horse and me being sick STILL doesn't help matters. When I don't feel good it's hard to have any kind of motivation. Especially while having a dry hard cough that makes you feel like you are about to cough out internal organs (oh and I have an ear infection too!!). 8:15am right now, impatiently waiting for my doctors office to open at 8:30 so I can make an appointment.. Yesterday felt good enough to take mom and son to Daniel Stowe Botanical Garden. All the flowers outside of course are dead to the world but they have a new indoor orchard conservatory.
( The Pictures )
|
February 2nd, 2008
09:30 pm
Thanks everyone for their words of encouragement. And thanks ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) chocoholiclola, I knocked up my calorie intake to 1800 calories. Could have done better Friday and today eating wise, although even then it wasn't as bad as it usually is. I have been sick since Tuesday so I have yet to start and exercise plan. However, today I feel the best I have since I got sick so I believe I will start becoming more physically active. Did a real tiny bit of walking today, it was so pitiful getting so winded coming up a hill. So far in a weeks time I have lost 2 lbs which I figure is decent considering I didn't do any exercises.
I know I said I was being optimistic about the job hunt but I am starting to feel that slide. It is just getting so frustrated. I got all excited Tuesday when I was asked some preliminary questions because someone thought I might be good for one of their positions. He said they would be calling in a few days to schedule interviews with people. To me "a few days" is two or three days. It's now been 4 days. Yesterday I was at the local Employment Security Commission for an hour and a half to speak to someone about some jobs listed on their site. I ended up leaving without talking to anyone because my son and mom was in the car. One of the photographer jobs I was really wanting were still waiting another week or so to get applications when I called last week. I am going to call Monday and hopefully they will be then start looking at applications.
|
January 29th, 2008
09:18 pm
When I was young I was thin and in good health. During puberty my hips got bigger, my butt expanded, my thighs got thicker (things like this ran in my family). I was still however in relatively good shape.
The Internet seemed to change everything. I became more sedentary and started a bad habit of mindless eating. I still was doing decent with my weight. However things got worse once I got married. I quickly ballooned in weight. Then in November of 2005 I found out I was pregnant. After my son was born in July I was at the 200lb mark. I never lost the baby weight and continued to gain even more weight.
Now here I am 222 lbs and ready for a change. I want to feel good physically and mentally. I want to look and feel sexy. I want to be able to keep up with my active son.
I have tried loosing weight before and I would loose some weight. But then I would fall off the horse and stay off it. I am ready to get back on the horse and this time, for some reason, I feel it will be different. I feel like I can and will achieve my weight loss goals.
_____________________________________________________________________
I have now been controlling my eating for 4 days. Feels like FOREVER but I am just getting started. I have been doing good about keeping in the 1500 calorie range. My stomach is revolting, always talking to me. I don't starve myself because I do eat something healthy when my stomach is really acting up. Steven says his stomach was like that up till a week after he starting to cutting back on eating so much. That all I have to do is getting my body use to the fact that I am not going to stuff myself like I use to.
My husband is doing great on his weight loss. I am really starting to notice a difference in him. We are determined to get back to being the "sexy" couple we once were.
I really feel like I am going to make it this time. I am sure I will fall off the horse (God do I love using that metaphor) but that this time around I will quickly hop right back on. I need to now start implementing some kind of exercise (have an exercise DVD that's been wrapped up in cellophane for ever) than I will really be off.
|
January 23rd, 2008
09:46 pm
God I hate looking for a job. Everything now a days you have to do on the internet. I can't believe I am about to say this but I miss the days when you HAD to come one. It was more personal, they got to put a name with the face. Plus now it is easier to get lost/overlooked with all the applications they get because it is much easier to log in and submit a resume. Something, out of all the jobs I applied for (that I am qualified for mind you), has got to work. I gotta keep my head up.
Steven and I (my husband) got our taxes done today. I was disappointed at the result but it could have been worse, we could have owed money like we did two years ago. We get a whole $5 from the state!! Color me lucky. Federal was a bit nicer to us.
Grandparents are looking after Jake tonight and I am just goofing off and relaxing. I like having the time to myself but a part of me does miss that little devil. I never I thought I could love something so much, he's the best surprise I have ever gotten.
|
January 21st, 2008
08:54 am
Happily I can report the feeling of depression coming back was false. For some reason a wave of "things will be okay, if not I am going to make them okay" came over me. I have this new found motivation to get my life together mentally, physically and emotionally.
I am trying to eat healthier including curbing how much I eat. My husband lost around 10 pounds by eating just enough to sustain him and nothing more. I am trying to do that and once I get in the swing of it I will try and incorporate exercise.
Applied for a couple of jobs that I feel that suit my qualifications. Three of them I am really wanting, hoping that one of them will work out. Two companies are hiring to take photographs of students at school. I would have summer off so that would work perfectly. The other one is just clerical stuff but it is part time which is something I am looking for in a job. That way I could see my son while still getting in some social interaction time with fellow adults.
I am going to make things happen and in return I hope to get my self put back together.
|
January 19th, 2008
06:54 pm
I feel it creeping up on me. I fear my depression is coming back to get me. God I hope not. Maybe it is the weather, the absence of the sun, but I sure do love the sight of the snow so who knows. All I know is I don't want to go through the pain and despair of depression.
I loathed the idea of getting a job (at the strong urging of my husband) but now I ma beginning to think it would be for the best. It would do me good to not be in the house so much and I do miss the social interaction with people other than my family. At the same time though I just don't know how I am going to deal with not being around my son as much. I feel a tinge of sadness when I think about how much I will, more than likely, miss him during the day.
|
January 18th, 2008
January 17th, 2008
11:07 am - I Hate Titles
There is just something about a blank journal, whether it be a paper one or an online one, that I have always loved. So here I am once more with another journal. Maybe this time I can make this one stick.
A little about me. My name is Charlene. I am turning twenty-five this February and I don't feel at all like my age. Emotionally I feel like I am still just a kid of no more than 18. It's a demon I need to fight tooth and nail because I have responsibilities. I need to grow up because I am a wife and a mother and there are things that are expected of me. My son is everything to me. He was my little surprise that I never knew I could love so much as I do. My marriage is a battle but we are determined to make it work because of the vows we made to one another. Currently I am a full time stay at home mom but I am trying to find me a job. I don't feel like I was born to be a stay at home mom.
That's just the tip of the ice burg of who I am but that's all I can figure out. I am constantly trying to figure out who exactly I am and who exactly I want to be.
|
|
|
|
